And here i was thinking about how i hadn't updated my blog in such a long time. Now i see it's only been about eight days. Time does not fly when you're giving an exam and you know nothing. Which is what has been going on with me since last tuesday.

I literally do not know anything.

It's just sad now. I haven't been studying, at all, although i've had time to. But still. I insist on acting like procrastinator extraordinairre, knowing full well about how i will be, to say it rudely, fucked in the ass if i mess up the Os. Somehow i don't feel bothered enough. Or it could just be the fact that i'm lazy and i manage to come up with excuses for everything.

oh well.

Another ramble in the self-obsessed Life of Jaahil.

shove over pi, its my turn now.

Oh well, atleast someone appreciates my self obsession. <3

And, i am extremely proud of myself, for making a group. On facebook. Dedicated to squeaky.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=28552425014


God. I am AWESOME=D=D

and pmsed.

You rip my soul apart, and sew it back again one
stitch
at
a
time.

I complain about painfully slow deaths and equally torturous "bringing-back-to-life"s. You kiss the tears away with a lying smile.

And we fall, again again again. All over again.

Backtrace all the squares i conquered, to number one. Only one.

The cycle doesn't stop, never did, never will.
And we will continue our sadistic love affair forever, until there is no you, or no me. Whichever comes first.

Why do I believe, when you reassure?
Why do you confide, when I keep not your secrets?
Why do we love and hate in equal measures?

The cup is halfemptyfullemptyfull.....empty..

It goes on.And on.And on.

I realised that my blog does not have anything about issues affecting things out of my own ife.

does it make me self obsessed, ignorant, or just plain detached?

I wonder sometimes what I would have done if I didn't have my words. I suppose I'd suffer a mental asphyxiation of sorts. But maybe that would happen if i lost my words, and it has happened to me, i came dangerously close.

What would i have done, if I never had them in the first place?

What would you do, without your words?

An example of how messed up my bestfriend and I are:


19th march, school.

Me: Give me your iPod!
A.S: YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!
Me: What's there in that bag? a dildo?
Bestie: Why are you pointing a long straight object at me A?
Me: It IS a dildo, isn't it?
A.S: NO, YOU BITCH, ITS A STRAIGHTENER!
Bestie: HAHAHAAHAH. SHE EVEN CALLS IT STRAIGHTENER. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Me: *falls down laughing*

Today:

Bestie: so... dude.. it's really weird.. i think i'll have a long talk with him...
Me: long? how long?
Bestie: HAHAHAHAHA. straighten things out?
Me: Yes, you best give it to him straight, i tell you.


Sigh.
=\

Salt and Saffron...

I want to curl up in bed with my earphones plugged in tight, with a cup of tea, listen to Coldplay and read Salt and Saffron because i absolutely adore that book...

I want to feel utopic, because I haven't lost touch with reality in ages, and I fear that if i stray away from my dreams too long, I will lose them and not be the person I am.

And that, to put it very blatantly, would suck.

I want to avoid my O levels. I don't want to jinx my life now..

=)

Golden ticket

And then it strikes you, that either you got it wrong the first time, or it actually isn't a once in a lifetime phenomena=)

Can i be Charlie, and will you be my Golden Ticket? We'll live in our Chocolate Factory World and Roald Dahl tales and be happy in our bubbles of joy created in those moments of sugar highs and subsequent lows, and laughcrylaugh at our silliness.


I think someone/thing stole my funnies, and I do not appreciate that, because I've always prided myself on the fact that I have the ability to amuse people. Kindly return it, who/whatever you are. I feel lost without my funniness=(

OhNoesss!

Haha, three posts in one day on a blog that no one reads?

I am too good. *pats self on back*

Last days of school. Seriously, it's still hard to believe that my 6 years of single sex catholic school education have passed, and I survived. Harder to believe that the first waves of nostalgia are beginning to hit me. Very soon, i have a feeling, that they will be washing over me, and might even be streaming out of my eyes. Gay much? But I won't be the only one....

Yes, even though I've whined and bitched about this place so much, it's still a kind of second home. Sigh. Cheesy.

What is making me write this, I feel like i must explain. Hitler.

Not quite in the way you think, before you start thinking of him as a closet sentimentalist (if that's even a word) cross-dressing fag. No, not like that at all. We watched the movie today, in school, Pakistani dvd and all having fucked up sound and worse subtitles seemingly written by chinese midgets with a very poor hold on the English language. Added to the fun, although it was supposed to be "educational", it turned out to be more of a joke than anything else.

And then,while literally rolling on the floor laughing, it hit me, that i would miss the silliness of this place, and these idiots who are my classmates/friends/confidantes, intentionally or unintentionally, and how we know so much about each other without ever meaning to, or talking to each other one on one.

Our stupid fits of laughter, class jokes, politics, lameness, sticking up for each other,larka problems, -isms. (now it sounds like a speech. shit maaaan.)

Empathy.

Everything.

6th grade was then, and now we're done with grade 11. Almost, with a couple of days to go.

What the fucking hell is wrong with me?=\