Oh look. It's Miss Pakistan WORLD.
I was randomly browsing, and I came across this wonderful website. How very nice. Our very own beauty pageant. For Pakistani girls. Aww.
Now, I've never been a big fan of beauty pageants. While some people choose to believe that is the case because I do not resemble (and will never resemble) in any shape or form, a beauty pageant contestant, I beg to differ. And I can state more than a hundred reasons for that, but you can google feminism, and you'll find instant answers(or links that lead to them, anyway) so let us not waste our valuable time.
So about this website. The Miss Pakistan World pageant, from what I have gathered using my incredible investigative journalism skills (too many hours of boredom+immense desire to find something to mock/laugh at/rant about)is that it was started in 2002 for Pakistani girls belonging "mainly to North America and Europe", and apparently spread like a plague to the rest of (?) the world. The president of this event happens to be a certain Miss Sonia Ahmed, who hopes for a Modern Pakistan through..you guessed it... MISS PAKISTAN WORLD! *confetti moment*
Miss Sonia Ahmed with some douche called Mika Singh
Not only is the website cheaply made, they want to charge people $500 dollars for entry into a competition that reeks of utter uselessness. It's like Rizwan Beyg proclaiming "Oh I think it's absolutely wonderful that despite the recession the fashion family manages to get together and celebrate its creativity!". Delightful, a bunch of elitist twits getting together to check out clothes, buy clothes, talk clothes, dance clothes, eat clothes and everythingelseclothes. Which reminds me of this segment on the Nadia Khan Show (If you haven't heard of it, you are either living under a rock, or are blissfully unaware of a thing known as bored housewife syndrome, which touches all of us. Actively, or passively. Like secondhand smoke.)which shows what's going on with the middle aged yuppies in Dubai. They showed a "fundraising" dance party a few days ago, and it was, to put it quite succintly, revolting. Sweaty, frumpy, middle aged men and women doing weird bhangra moves on a dance floor. However, it was an amazing way to have them feel good about themselves (everyone looked ugly and frumpy, you see.) and extort them. Way to go fundraisers! Not only have you provided for the education of poor children in Pakistan, you have also given them footage to amuse themselves with while learning the important lesson of how not to behave like an absolute dumbfuck.
Back to Miss Pakistan World. Here you can find the contestants. Three whole years of them. Even the gallery is a bit shady, they all look like they're involved in the making of a pornographic film about psuedo Pussy Cat Dolls, as if the PCD weren't pornographic enough themselves. (Jai Ho feat. PCD, anyone?) I mean, what is this?
I used to be happy, not knowing such atrocities existed. No beauty pageants in/for Pakistan. What a wonderful world it was, even though it did put us in the same league as the Saudis with their stance on contests such as these. Not quite so drastic, but essentially the same. And look at this now. Enlightened Moderation too much? Much much much?
It's the tackiness of it all that's so shocking. You're not revolutionising the Pakistani society, you're just making it look tacky and disgusting.
I can see how this will get us respect from the rest of the world. I can already envision the investment funds pouring in, people dropping their warped image of pakistanis....
I see a better world. Oh yes I do.