Saturday, February 2, 2008

Chicken. Wherefore art thou?=(

Rant of the day/week (depending on when i update this blog, which no one reads, next):

CHICKEN.

yes, ladies and gentlemen, Bird Flu has hit our poor chickens yet again.

AGAIN, I tell you.

Not that this discovery makes much of a difference in my life, considering that the difference was already made when I read the article about there being cattle bones,hooves,horns and blood in the poultry feed, and the occasional stray cat or dog too.

Kind of put me off chicken for very long.

But it didn't seem to affect anyone else, so I used to sit around, annoyed and sullen, while other people ate chicken and told me i was being silly. And then this flu epidemic hit the poor clucks. *evil laugh*
Though i can't help but wish I should've thought about something else, apart from "WHY ARE OTHER PEOPLE EATING CHICKEN WHEN I'M NOT". But that isn't my fault, you see, because God usually does not pay attention to what I'm thinking about, so here I was, with that annoying voice in my head niggling me and ranting about how everyone BUT me was eating chicken, and the next day, Bird Flu was in the headlines.

Why couldn't it have bugged me about how poor i was? I might just have won a lottery. Stupid voice in my head.

So anyway, this is what happens/has happened/can happen if you eat whatever animals or vegetables you're supposed to eat:


Chicken

The clucking bird deserves the pride of place in this blogpost. You eat Chicken, you get the human form of Bird Flu, and you die. Or something along those lines anyway.
Moral: Dont't eat chicken. You'll sprout feathers and make weird clucking noises. You will run around in circles, flapping wings-that-used-to-be-your-arms and then you will suddenly drop dead. So don't eat chicken, i repeat.


Beef

Anyone remember the mad cow disease? I don't know what this particular disease can do to a person, but I would like to imagine, by its name, that the affected individual develops an alternative personality and begins acting like a cow/bull. Food regurgitation, butting into people's backsides, moo-ing loudly and a strong desire to eat whatever cattle eat are some of the symptons. Hopefully, it won't hit us while the chickens are dying. I know many people who would perish if they couldn't eat meat.


Vegetables from farms in the outskirts of cities and towns:

I almost had a heart attack, when it was revealed to me that the water used to irrigate these vegetable crops was sewage. Sometimes, it might even be factory waste. So, basically, we're eating veggies grown with the help of water containing human shit, and factory chemicals. Extremely Appetising. I can see people turning into nuclear horror stories because of all the chemicals. Although, I can't stop eating vegetables, i'm rather fond of them. Hopefully, i won't be turning into a Green Goblin lookalike?=\


Fish from the Keamari area

Apparently, deep sea fishing is safe, but I don't trust that either. If you saw the state of the water in our part of the Arabian sea, you wouldn't either. It will not be surprising if we experience Fish Fever in the future. The water in which our little fishies live is full of oil, toxic waste, plastic bags, people's shoes, tyres, underwear ( yes, i have seem these objects floating around). It doesn't seem very safe, now does it?

5 comments:

pluto88 said...

HAH
<3-
no wait (L)
Darn it!

Furqan said...

haha ermm no as far as i know you dont get bird flu by eating an infected chicken. (one that's cooked =p) but it can transfer from a living chicken to a person who comes in contact with it =p i could be wrong but i doubt it

Opinionated Jaahil said...

mina: GET OVER THAT.=P

Furqan: Tumhe kuch nai pata. When you turn into a chicken hybrid, then dont come clucking to me.

Furqan said...

shutup. YOU dont know anything. *chuckles and eats chyken* *waves* IM FINE!

Noor said...

Hah! I wonder how long can I go reading text of that kind!!


Gr8 work, lady!