Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Today in Jaahil's very sad tum-tou-bas-train-ke-neechay-aakar-jaan-dedo-ish life, amongst other things:

Mum: Woh mein abhi Adeeba se phone par baat kar rahee thee, uss ne Beenish kee choti behen kaa bhi rishta karwa diya, buhat achay loag hain.

Me: Acha... Can you get my computer fixed please?

Mum: Haan, Adeeba ke paas buhat achay rishtay hotay hain...

Me: *realising where this is heading* Woh kal na I have to go to the library.. and PLEASE get my computer fixed.. and the dvd player too!

(notice complete lack of wittiness.)

Mum: (in all seriousness) Mein soch rahee thee Adeeba ko tumharay liye bhi boloon.... koiee acha rishta bataye gee.

Me: KYA? I'M 17 WOMAN. I'M NOT EVEN LEGAL YET. I CAN'T GET MARRIED.

Mum: Nai.. lekin there's nothing wrong with an engagement.

Me: I do not wish to get myself into an arranged match at the tender age of 17, or 18, OR 19 for that matter. I do not wish to get into holy matrimony till im 25, thankyouverymuch.

Mum: Larkion kee shaadian jaldi hojayein tou acha hai, waisey hee tumhara dimaagh buhat kharab hogya hai.

Me: You try that. I will spill tea on the guy's no no zone.

Mum: Zyada bakwas nai kiya karo, bas tumhay tou apni aawaara doston ke saath ghoomnay aur cigarette peenay kaa shouk hai. Mein koiee nai theek karwa rahee computer.


Sigh.

8 comments:

forever yourses. said...

hahahah man i've been through so many of those, and when the rishta i actually wanted came, i was shit scared cause my mum knew i had something to do with it. but the funny part was, in the midst of the accusations [you knew about this didn't you. you talk to him a lot don't you. don't lie you me you!], she goes 'you know what..i think you're safer married off'

i thought it was quite rude.

anyway. i just wanted to say, mothers do that. live with it. the only reason my mother succeeded was because the rishta actually came, and the only reason it came was because he proposed to be beforehand.

point being : empty threats.

Zh. said...

hahahah man!
i've had the weirdest rishtas come to me, and i was made to cater and be 'social'.no chai involved though,thank God.
To put a stop to them i told them i had a boyfriend and that i was serious. It was true that i had a boyfriend but we weren't serious!
now that we are is a different story..
but haan,i love mothers.

Ali said...

very very funnyness :P

Opinionated Jaahil said...

Forever Yourses: Tumhara rishta hogaya? wow. But youre young!!

hahah i haven't had the misfortune of an actual rishta, but it doesn't seem too far off, and since i cant pull the boyfriend card, because even if I did I'd have my Hitler mother to face, I can just be extremely annoying.. and possibly tell the guy that hes ugly and that his mum's ugly too.=D

forever yourses. said...

=P er yeah.

i have a friend who gets bombarded with them and she can't tell her family she has a boyfriend, which she does, by the way. she ends up doing ridiculous things in front of the aunties who come over, like throw bits of food around and act really really dumb :P it works, but i feel sorry for her parents. khandaan ke naam pe dhabba.

EMPRESS MAIDEN FIZAW said...

and i thought those shaadi ki naseehatein my aunts sit down and give us lot were bad..

and enable name/url and anonymous comments, woman! :DDD

Opinionated Jaahil said...

I do not wish to enable anonymous comments, whoever wants to comment can comment without the anonymity=p

Call me Gunther said...

hahaha! I always ask the guy extremely uncomfortable questions like, "What are your thoughts on swingers? Because I gotta tell you frankly, those guys have the secret to life!"